October 02, 2006
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Sis has really gone into a depression, seeing a consellor in school. And i dint know this has been going for more than 1 month.. Fucking useless. As a big sis, I cant do anything to help when i'm already in such a state.
I've killed a day having the day killing me. Its creeping inside and slowly murdering me. I finally went out today and bought something, returning home and with that stuff on my hand, i felt like a fool. A real big fool. WAKE UP.
I have always hated weak girls, cannot understand why are they always wailing like a baby for something thats gone, waiting for something that isnt going to come back. And i realise i became one of them without knowing myself.
Some agent called today, someone is gonna take a look at the whole house. I think grandpa is gonna sell it. With my sis condition, i'm really worried sick. The whole house seems so dark.. so dark no matter how much lights is on.
And i've to worry about the house being sold and where are we going to stay next. Dad? oh, i doubt he even cares. Throw u the $ and go enjoy with his family. I dont have the energy to think about other stuffs anymore. But they are constantly on my mind and slowly crawling into my heart making it tighter and tighter.. I'm afraid its gonna burst soon.
Sorry if i'm too reliant on you, maybe i'm not a person that is secure. Dad Mom gone, I have made God gone in my life too. Rest assured it isnt going to happen again, because it just wont. |
ranted by faith
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12:36:00 AM comments
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